loungelizard | Prisma ♦︎ Inbox

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Hi there! You've reached the ansafone of Larry Laffer.
If this is a booty call, please hang up and try again until I pick up.
Otherwise, leave a message at the beep
and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know exactly what I mean.
Everyone has their preferences, I get it. Different people want different things and I don't begrudge anyone for it.

No, I don't. What's a little meat between friends?

Exactly. Just being friends.
That okay by you?

...Jill, have you been under the impression that I've been trying to seduce you this whole time?

I knew you were off-limits when we first met. I'm always like this; I can't turn it off. So if your definition of "just being friends" means that I'm not allowed to check you out, flirt with you, or buy you the occasional drink, even though I know that dating is off the table...then no, we can't "just be friends".

[Also, yeah, she's that kind of super insane hot that makes him want to get walked all over in stilettos...but also has a lot of baggage that he can't help her with, and that's a major turn-off for him.]

I'm sorry babe. I'm just being honest.

Ha, no. Not at all! It's more the way you acted and what you said when I went in to kiss your cheek.
You didn't need to go into a spiel.
Although I didn't realize you were "checking" me out.
Can appreciate a firm boundary, but I wasn't talking about all that. Anyway, my only qualm is you gotta let me buy you a drink every now and then, too.
:)

Oh, THAT? Like I said, my policy is "don't do anything to me that you wouldn't want me to do to you." Just laying down the ground rules! If you keep it fair game, so will I.

Buying each other weirdly shaped steak and beer included.

Yeah, and I told you if you kissed me on the cheek it wouldn't be a big deal.
I always play fair, though. I can't believe you'd even consider I wouldn't! ;)
Alright.
I'll grill if you'll eat it.

Only if you're grilling it on that smokin' hot ass!

Just kidding!

But I really could go for a wood grill if you've got the equipment and enthusiasm.

I'll take it just about any way though, as long as it's medium.

I was gonna say that barely makes sense, but I get it now.
Hot like fire. Like a grill.

[ That's one way to ruin a joke! ]

Only got one of those sad little apartment charcoal ones.
Not sure how conducive a wood-burning one is to living in a place like mine.
But I wouldn't mind getting my hands on one...
Afraid if I make it medium rare you'll get sick?