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[Larry will find a black parcel and a very thick black envelope in his dam's mailbox. He lives in a dam, right? Beaver Man? In any case, a package find him, and it smells like a more fragrant, dangerous, and bloody earth than maybe he usually finds himself.

The note reads, quite succinctly:]

FÉLICITATIONS.
You are welcome to use the following investment for the purposes of your building projects.
-Javert

[A hefty bound cluster of solars comes along with the note.

In the wrapped parcel, Larry will find a pair of fine cut-crystal champagne flutes filled with dried rose petals. Enjoy!]

[It's a hand-made lodge on solid ground, so it's easy to get to! The dam is there just to fuck with the flow of water. Larry regards the weird package with a suspicious uhhhh before deciding to open it after all.

He finds wedding gifts, rather than snakes, much to his surprise! He finds his device to send Javert a message.]

Thank you for the gift! But...are you sure? This is a pretty thick brick of cash!

Rest assured, this is one of the better uses for that coin, and I never do what I do not mean. What use would come of me keeping it? I don't build.

Okay, that's fair. But most of my building is raw materials, from my own labor. I don't spend a cent on them!

Except, maybe...I could get a better furnace stove...or see about a plumbing system...glass for windows, I guess?

I'm just not used to spending money on myself!

I understand that sentiment better than you know. Here is a thought: use it for larger-scale construction for the good of society. Erect public use facilities with monsters in mind. That will do.

Hmm...like that resort I'd been planning...! There's more than enough here to get that started.

It will be even better if you dedicate your erections for the Fog's sake. I understand you are one of Her loyal servants. That is an honorable and right course, worthy of acknowledgement and commendation. Madame above knows there is plenty of room for reconstruction in this world!

I think I'm legally obligated to dedicate my erections for my wife now!

That's the message that I got when I talked to her last. She wanted land to be claimed in her name. She never specified how or what it should be, so I figured just about anything would do.

Seems weird that a goddess could have the kind of power to whisk people here, but not be able to reclaim land of her own world...but who am I to question it? Women work in mysterious ways.

Edited 2021-01-15 02:30 (UTC)

Clever and lewd, aren't you?

[There's a longer pause here, Javert's face falling grim on his side of the screen.]

The people of this wretched place are determined to reject Her, that is why. They have already scorched most of this earth in rejecting Her authority. It is part of our task to stop them from heaving more damage on the rest.

It's my specialty!

But what do you mean, "scorched most of this earth"? I wouldn't say I've turned every stone on this peninsula, but I've seen a pretty good chunk of it. There's very little of it that I'd call "scorched".

[Unless, of course, Javert comes from a particularly lush world. In comparison to something like that, he could see why someone would consider the Ryslig a little lacking...]

I meant beyond the peninsula. Did you think about what is out there? Well, there is nothing. It is dead and gone, and humans have themselves to blame for the mess. She showed me the truth of it Herself.

[A pause.]

I confess it is possible that is what She means when She tells you to reclaim Her land.

Honestly? No, I hadn't given it any thought. I guess I've just gotten used to working within spacial limitations that I just accepted it for what it is!

[aka a video game's world is only as big as it needs to be, and he's never had a reason to explore beyond that, so he was more than happy to accept it at face-value.]

She specified that she wants the peninsula as hers. Does she have no interest in restoring life in the land that lies beyond?

Dead and scorched earth is the perfect soil to bring new life, is all.

I can only speculate, and I have no want to miscommunicate Her goals. That is better spoken between yourself of Her. But on my part, I do not believe the land is capable of bearing new life. It is lost to us and to Her; it is vast, empty, cracked, and barren. Your work would be more than worthy to enrich the peninsula in Her name. Please Her enough and She may show you what is out there, too.

I have a hard time believing that it's totally lost, considering that only a few miles away (or however wide that mountain range is) life is thriving here in the peninsula while we breathe the same air and drink the same water. If this really is the last livable land, it's inevitable that it's going to choke itself out -- especially since we're the apex predators of apex predators (humans), and they individually demand so much out of natural resources to survive in the first place!

She's gotta realize the inevitability of our death if humanity is cattled with fear rather than motivated to thrive. I know from my conversation with her that she doesn't view us as tools to exact her wrath upon humans, regardless of how angry she actually is at them. She wants us to live happy lives here; that's what she told me.

[Did anyone ever tell you that Larry is a problem solver first and foremost?]

Sorry -- I guess at this point I'm just thinking out loud. ...Well, "out loud".

What I'm trying to say is that if she wants us to thrive like she says she does, we have find a way for humans to thrive too. If we show them love and compassion, maybe with enough time they'll be motivated to bring life back to the rest of the world. Either that, or the peninsula will end up the same way. We can't sustain the status quo forever.

[Javert is of Little Faith when it comes to humankind, but far be it from him to argue another man's intimate instructions and understanding of their sovereign authority. At least this one isn't a liar about it, and made no claims to the contrary ~~like a certain Regulus Black~~.]

What you do with Her lead is a private matter between yourself and Madame Fog. I will not tell you otherwise, so long as you are honest and honorable about your intentions. If you wish to carry on Her will through construction projects and revitalizing the lands, then do it. You have my blessings and support. No doubt She would reward you for growing the land, should you achieve it.

Hm...

[Is this not a team effort? Interesting...]

What is she to you, then? What is your mission for her?

I am an enforcer and a guard, Monsieur. I am tasked to enforce and protect Her will in this peninsula. Those are my strengths, and that is the course charted for myself. I protect our lives; I cannot be relied upon to scatter the seed for more life. Far be it from me to interfere with your task to build and enliven!

Huh...I see.

So...you're the guy to tell if someone's giving me a hard time?

Inescapably one of my duties, yes. I will take any and all reports that hinder your work. Is something causing you trouble, monsieur?

No, not really. It just brings me some relief to know there's someone looking out for me. :o)

Indeed, and I am a very thorough sort of worker. I know where to keep a sharper watch.

Yeah, that sounds about right. You seem like that kinda guy!

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[The evening IMMEDIATELY after finding out about the 'wedding announcement']

no subject

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<PasUnPolicier> CW: God I'm sorry for the double-entendre word choice, blame Ye Olde Timey phrasing

you literally rolled out the red carpet for this one

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< LarryLaffer > teachers who asked larry to show his work regret their decision

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